Today is a crap day. Just crap. I have so many things I should be doing and I'm not doing any of them because I just don't feel like it. Nickolas unraveled a knitting project I've put a week into and I just fell on the floor and cried because I didn't even feel like yelling and carrying on like I normally would have. I think the crying scared them worse. Whoops.

Nick got pissed at me for being at Wife #3's house last night. (Explanation like, two posts down.) I told him there is no way I'm going to just stop hanging out with her. First of all, to the kids, she's still their grandmother. (Step-grandmother. Whatever.) They're too young to understand that Wife #4 is now Grandpa's wife and is now their grandmother. They don't know what to call Wife #4 except her name. They don't like to put "Grandma" in front of it, it doesn't make sense to them. So to keep some normalcy in their lives, Wife #3 is still "Grandma Gina." (Yeah, names. I don't fucking care anymore.) And they still love her. Not to mention her son, who was their uncle but now they are supposed to just forget about? Uh, no. He's one of their favorite people. He's fourteen, and would like nothing better than to have them tag along behind him all afternoon. Seriously. He loves them. But I'm supposed to just forget all about them, even though they still live like fifteen minutes away, and replace them in my brain with Carla and her son. No.

Well, to make matters even more awesome, this weekend is the Illinois Valley Wine Festival or whatever it's called. First Gina asked me to go, and I said hell yeah. Wine. Then Nick's dad and Carla asked Nick if he wanted to go, and he said hell yeah. Wine. I didn't know that Nick had planned to go with his dad, so when he came to Gina's last night, she asked him if he was coming with. He told her no, because his mom is coming down on Sunday. And then he hauled ass out of the house and left me there with his thunderstruck and very hurt ex-stepmother, who knew very well that his mother is not coming down on Sunday because I had already made plans with her to go to the wine thing. He didn't have to lie, you know?

By the time I got home he was higher than a kite and completely useless to talk to, so I'll try again when he gets home from work. I'm sure he'll be high then too, but I'll tell him I won't cook dinner until he talks to me. That'll do it. I hate new drama. Old drama becomes routine, and you get into a groove of avoiding it with stock responses and clever sidestepping of questions. But new drama kind of sneaks its way in and kicks you right in the crotch. I don't like being kicked in the crotch as a rule so I'm going to have to figure my way out of this soon. I refuse to drop Gina because she's been a better friend to me than anyone else in Nick's whole fucked up extended family. She was the only one that didn't think it was my fault when Nick left me, and she was the only one who knew my exact reasons for taking him back.

Fuck. Nothing like some crotch kicking drama to force me to spike my St John's wort tea with some nice, healthy Ten High.