I hate my life right now
Mother. FUCKER. I am so pissed.
Now we're down to no cars at all. Seeing that I live on a freaking FARM, that is no good at all. Son of a BITCH. I wish I could post pictures so everyone could see how totaled my poor beastly Intrepid is now, because a stupid deer ran out in front of us and Nick was going too fast to stop so he swerved, and it rolled. Three times. The kids don't have a scratch on them, thank goodness, but Nick blew a .10 so he got a DUI. With the kids in the car. He's banged up, and I'm a head to toe bruise with a lovely bloody head injury to boot.
Of course, we have no medical insurance. Of course, we only had liability on the car because it's ten years old. Of course, it's Lukas's BIRTHDAY today and all his presents were in the car.
What doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger. It makes you bitter and cold and it wears you down until you don't want to get out of bed but you have to because your kids are too little to fend for themselves so you sit in front of the computer and type it all out just to have visual evidence of how pathetic you are and you wish you could have a drink but it's only eleven thirty in the morning and besides, drinking started all this bullshit in the first place and shouldn't this be a sign to quit? so you instead take some tranquilizers (so tranquil in my head now) and sit in your rocking chair staring at a book but not reading a word.
I quit.
4 Comments:
Oh man, that SUCKS!! I'm glad you all are OK, though - that's the most important thing of all. I hope it starts to look uo for you, and if there's anything I could somehow do for you, let me know.
Oh my God honey. I am so sorry for everything you're going thru. I know it doesn't help ONE BIT to know that I, too, hate just about everything in my life right now, but perhaps it will add to my argument about me you and Jackie getting the fuck outta dodge and starting over somewhere else? Email me.
Cheri
Not good in so many ways. I'm so sorry things are so very crappy for you as of late. :-(
HELP! I'm stuck in a very, very, small and very, very rural town. Can you believe nearly 3 hours to Walmart! And talk about simple-minded and often stupid minded people! The outsiders who move here from elsewhere are nice, but the snotty, original people who grew up here are not only simple minded, but completely stuck on themselves for how great they are, not realizing how limited their pea brains really are. The most they can hope for in life is that their spouses aren't sleeping around with one of their friends or cousins. And most of the people who grew up here and try to leave, just end up coming back because they can't handle the real world. Family circumstances keep me here, but I'm counting the days for some fresh air out of this hole.
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